I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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