my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
