I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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