May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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