I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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