His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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