did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
