And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
