I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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