I just saw a hot homeless man
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
