so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
