We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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