why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
