how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Still dying that you shit outside
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
