i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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