Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
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