your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
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we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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