Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
