im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize