whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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