I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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