I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The air taste purple.
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