Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
