3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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