Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
