I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
