"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
