She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
