There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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