I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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