So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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