Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
