Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
