we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
