Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
