its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
