I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize