I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
