so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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