The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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