i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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