THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize