First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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