What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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