do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
