I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I party with great urgency now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
