just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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