She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
