It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
