I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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