I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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