You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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