im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
