Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is Oprah even human
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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