So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Did I show you my penis last night?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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