I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
