I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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