i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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