Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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