she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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